I'm on the night train ready to crash and burn!

(no subject)
ineedyouyouyou

the thing i love about my friend though she never makes me eat, she offers me food but then says of couse you dont want anything :D shee brilll, i can be over hers not eat all night not eat in the morning then go home and say to my mam i've eatten a big breakfast over my friends then when i go back over my friends i can say i've eatten a sandwhich and big dinner :D noo food eatten then :D



(no subject)
ineedyouyouyou


I can’t believe how long it has been since I last posted on here :(. I’m back anyway not on good terms I’m having a really bad time at the moment. bad things
: I’m huge
I’m a huge fat whale
I’m a huge fat lazy ass pig
I’m never going to be perfect for the boy I like :(
nothing is going right at the moment I’ve been trying my best to 'eat properly' but it’s just made me put on weight I feel awful, I can barely look in the mirror let along put on a pair of shorts for summer :(
I’ve started a work placement also but that’s awful I’m thinking of quitting I’m getting paid shit money and I’m litcually sat down on my ass all day. I just need to be a close to perfect as possible
not so long ago I tried to commite suicide I toke about 6 packs of tablets plus I had been drinking that night, nothing happened though I went to bed and woke up the next morning with these horrible shakes :( and I’m depending more and more on alcohol I haven’t had a weekend in for about 2 months every Saturday I get extremely drunk, my friend does it cause she thinks 'its fun' I do it because it another way of me to let out myself destructive side without anyone really finding out about it because I can blame my behavior on the drink :( butt the drink is making me put on weigh :( but I can’t stop it I need to drink so I’ve only been eating 1 meal a day to make up for the alcohol calories, it’s not help though so I’m going to stop eating all together its Tuesday today and I’m not eating Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday or Sunday I’m just going to drink red bull and then drink alcohol on the weekend. I’m planning on going away this weekend as well just to get away from everything. I can’t deal with anything anymore, if I was thin then something would be better but it’s not.

I’m not very good at showing my feelings I’m sorry :/ I hope everyone has had a better time than me! xxxx



brill website
ineedyouyouyou
livestrong.com
Running: stairs, up

This activity burns approximately
1,107 calories per hour.
 


my new weekend exercise


(no subject)
ineedyouyouyou

Fasted Monday, Tuesday till 6pm 42 hours

Then had 500 calories

Burn 600 tomorrow down gym

Fast tomorrow

thursday have some fiber powder 29 calories 2 teaspoons do 800-1000 sit-ups

try and fast friday and saturday
gym saturday aswell, try and go friday also

sunday only have dinner

plan
 



CRAPPPPPPPPP
ineedyouyouyou

ohh crap noooooo
i've just realised it's 3 weeks till summer offical starts
think i better get my ass in to gear
fasting tomorrow
water and green tea
then only eatting 500 calories for the next 16 days with fiber supplments ( it makes you lose more weight )
i'm also planning on exercising for about 3 hours tomorrow only random walking though
if i can i will try and do more but i've got so much homework to do 
my new weighing day is thursday  
 



new day new week tomorrow : )
ineedyouyouyou
as they say tomorrow is a new day plus a new week
and to start fresh new week i also have a new diet which i'm hopeing will speed up my metabolism
i will post it here tomorrow
i'm in need of some control and perfecsion in my life everything was going so good untill the stupid crap weekend landed and of course fatty me went and binge nope not 1s but 2s aruggg
why do i keep doing this shit arugg
i need to stop it
i will be better i will be good i will be 100 pounds
i need to stop being such a fat ass lazy shit daughter

heya all
ineedyouyouyou

 

heyaa everyone
sorry i haven't been on in so long
well anyways i know it's kind of lame me posting this because well like i just said i haven't not been on in so long but anyways here it goes
i'm taking a break
i really really need to get things under control again, i've been so stressing lately which of couse in turns makes me binge which of couse makes everything a million times worse and every thing seems to be piling up on me and i've gained HUGH-LE and i've been feeling really low and stupid me went and quit one of my college course the other day
but i've been thinking about quitting college lately i really really want to go travelling the whole world and well make a differnces and help people and that and well expericens the world and i know this might sound a bit strange but i'm going to die young ... i know it sounds strange but for some reason for about 6 months i've had a feeling that i'm going to die when i'm about 32-35 years old and i know, no one really knows when they are going to die but what if i do die young but of course as my mam would say 'how can you' because of course the thing that everything comes down to ... money
oh fab just great money money money, the in my eyes the worse possible thing in the world but yet again the best thing in the world the thing most people desire to have
oh crap sorry for my little rant guys and girless
sorry
i really need to get out of this disaster pit that has been of my life
 and to make matters worse i have no clue how i'm going to make it though easter : /
kisses
stay strong for me please
i promise i wont be long ok sweeties
lotes of love and support rose
xxxxx


tomorrow's plan
ineedyouyouyou

Under 500 calories and a minimum of 6 bottles of water

Plan for tomorrow

Get up at half past 6 / 7

Do 50 sit-ups, 50 crunches

Gave shower, get ready etc

Go down stairs have a cup of hot water and lemon

Wash up the dishes (if these any to be washed)

Finish getting ready

Go food shopping, buy the last of the Easter eggs

Go home tidy bedroom / get ready for gym

Go on lj for a few minuters

Have an apple and a banana 166 calories

Go to gym burn a minimum of 400 calories

Get a DVD from blockbusters

5pm: take skin tablet

Gulp down 2 bottles of water

Take make-up off and have a hot bath

Moistures

Tidy bedroom again

Have a little snack maybe 140 calories

Work – out for 2 hours walking on the spot

Do some crunches, jacknots, push-ups and leg kicks squats

Does tomorrow’s meal plan

Get ready for bed; go to bed at around 10:30

 



diet plan for tomorrow
ineedyouyouyou

Wednesday's diet

Breakfast about half past 7 100 grapes 100 calories 1 apple 80 calories

Snack after college about 1 o clock 100 grapes 100 calories 1 banana 100 calories

Dinner about 5 o clock half can of soup 115 calories 1 piece of brown bread 85 calories

Total 580 calories

Maybe gym if so burn 400 calories

About 6 bottles of water some squash

2-3 green teas

i also got tones of homework to do
which will poubs tack my 3 hours to do : /



todays a new day : )
ineedyouyouyou
heyaa girless
ok so wow after lastnights binged i'm determined to make this week / month / year a good one i will not spend all year and espically all summer feeling low and in the dumps NO WAY
ok so i woke up this morning about an hour ago 6 : 30 and some how i felt totally refreshed and i thought todays going to be a good day yes todays going to be fab : )
and my mams going out today poubly all day so yay i got the whole day to myself to exercise ; )
i cant wait
and i got a babysitting job so i will be babysitting every monday tuesday friday well about 3-5 times a week : ) yayy hopefully i can get some new scales then fingers crossed
oww yes and this is a few goal weights for my next week
this morning weight : 126
by wednesday the 24th = 120 pounds
by sunday the 28th= 117 pounds
and by sunday the 4th= 110 pounds
hopefully i can make all of them and then i will be setting some more lol
umm and ok so this is my meal plan for the day :
tea and 15 grapes
2 bottles of water
a green tea
another bottle of water
around 2pm 1 glass of hot water and lemon
1 yogurt
some more water
1 more yogurt
and some more tea
and 1 more glass of hot water and lemon
lol
i hope today just all goes to plan
anyways i'm off
i got piles of coursework to do and plus i'm going to watch a 'morning thinspo' to kick start my day lol
kisses all
stay strong
lotes of love
rose
xxxxxx

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